The Children Teach Us How to Teach Them with Claudia Torres

:: 00:06

All right? So welcome to the Mindful, Coach Podcast. I'm Brett Hill, and I'm really excited to be talking with our guest today, Claudia Torres. She is a mindfulness teacher and podcaster with over 15 years of experience practicing mindfulness and yoga. She created presently a Key, a mindfulness podcast featuring a community of healers who share their personal stories to inspire others and embark on a journey of self discovery and self love. Claudia is also the founder of Our The Mindful Coach Association, an online mindfulness meditation school for children of age seven to twelve. The program helps children become aware of their thoughts, feelings, and body sensations, which helps to reduce anxiety, boost confidence, improve sleep and mental focus. Claudia's passion for mindfulness reflects her commitment to living a life of love and acceptance. And I'm really excited to welcome you to the show, Claudia. Thank you for being here.

:: 01:26

Thank you, Brett for having me. This is exciting.

:: 01:30

It is exciting. And I'm so inspired by your work. I've been following you now for a little while and we met, I think I would say I don't know exactly the first time, but the The Mindful Coach Association meetings, which started as a result of Sounds True, Inner MBA, and now I'm transitioning those to be a The Mindful Coach Association networking meeting. And you've been coming to those, and I've just been so inspired by listening to what you're doing, and I thought, I've just got to have you come on the show and hear about not only the work that you're doing, but what has called you to do this kind of work. So tell us a little bit about how you wound up running a podcast and helping children learn to be more mindful.

:: 02:21

Yes, absolutely. The pandemic, it really did. So in 2020, I lost my job and I was fine. I was happy about it because I'm in the mindful space, so I love myself, and so it was great. However, in that same thought, I realized, oh, wait, not everyone's going to feel as happy and comfortable as I am. So that inspired me to start a YouTube channel and have other healers in the same field and have conversations on mental health. And then I had an angel investor provide me a podcasting class oh, nice. To convert my idea into a podcast. And so I did, and it became a podcast. So I now interview one on one versus a group. And then from there, I interviewed this amazing woman who's up in Maine who has spirit camp for children. So she teaches kids about their spirit, their chakras, their connection to gaia, and she actually asked me to teach mindfulness to children because I did teach kids yoga in New York City, which is where I'm originally from. So in that background, I was already here. And so when she asked me, I taught at her school for a few months, and then from there, I decided to start my own school and ever since, and having the first kids come on board, it changed my life forever. And I knew this was going to be this is why I came, this is why I'm here.

:: 03:56

This is it. That's so great. It just snapped together like you had even an angel investor.

:: 04:06

Absolutely. I did not anticipate any of that. None of that was in my life goals. Like, this is what I want, it just unraveled and also surrendering right to what was happening.

:: 04:17

And so just so we can start this off, you said, are you still doing the YouTube or did that transition fully to a podcast?

:: 04:25

So I took a break from the YouTube, but now what I do is put my podcast in the YouTube.

:: 04:31

Now, how do people find you on YouTube? What would they look up?

:: 04:37

Sure. So on YouTube is going to be Youtube.com presentlyaki, which is presently. And Aki is actually here in Spanish. So because I'm Hispanic background, I thought it'd be cute to put the two words together.

:: 04:53

Sure. Yes.

:: 04:55

Yeah. And Aki is aqui So presently Aki on all platforms. I'm on there. So I now put all my podcasts on there and I'm happy to be back on YouTube, honestly, because I love the visual.

:: 05:08

Yeah. So that's the name of the podcast and the YouTube channel, Presently a key Aqui, is that right?

:: 05:15

Correct.

:: 05:16

Fabulous. I can't wait to enjoy some of those. That means here. Like, presently here. How did you settle on that as a name?

:: 05:28

I'll never forget. It was a night out on my balcony and I was going to be on a YouTube show back in early 21 2021 and I didn't have a name for what I was doing. And so I sat there, played with so many words and so I was thinking Presently here and other ways. And finally I'm like, how do I put a little flare, a little Spanish flair? And honestly, it took me over like 2 hours sitting out there and it came to me and then I actually shared it with some friends and everyone was like, yes, that's perfect. So I was sold.

:: 06:11

Nice. Well, I'm delighted you did then. It's so great that you brought your heritage into it as well because it's so alive in that way for you and connecting. And so tell me, if you will, a little bit about how the whole engagement with kids has taken off. You mentioned a little bit how you got invited, but then you step in and then suddenly it's like, oh my God, this isn't just an opportunity, this is my life. Right, so tell me about that.

:: 06:41

Sure. To be quite honest, I say this always because it's true. I'm not their teacher, I'm just their guide. Because everything that I bring up, they already know. They know everything. And so it just helps me do it in such an easier fashion than stressing out and worrying about it. So obviously, as the first time you teach, you are stressed and you're worried, and am I guiding them? Are they understanding? And so I actually had a reader, I think she was a tarot reader or an energy reader. I won this reading anyway, and something that she said stuck with me. And she said, the children are teaching you how to teach them. And I thought, yes, that's exactly what's happening. And it became such a more deep, humbling experience to be in this space, because now I can see that that is what's occurring, right? And I teach very intuitively, so I always come in asking them, how are they doing? How was their week? And if they're in a great space, then I'll go according to what the class is for the day. If it isn't, then I'll use whatever may be going on in their life as a teaching tool, as a teaching way of whatever. It could be a meditation that I could give them to help them with whatever is going on, also helping them get out of their body, right? To see that something isn't occurring to them, that it's something that's in their life that is a teaching example of learning about who they are deeply.

:: 08:20

Well, so when we talk about mindfulness, it's a very adult subject, right? It's very serious. We're down and get real serious and take ourselves, have all these lofty concepts. So how does that translate into a child's world? How do you make that translation? And is it hard or is it easy or what happens there?

:: 08:42

Actually, I thought it was going to be hard, and it's actually really easy because, believe it or not, some of them already know. And it's called paying attention, right? You were just paying attention. I don't get into the depth of why we're paying attention, but once I have that and they understand, okay, we're paying attention to our breathing, we're paying attention to our thoughts. We're paying attention to the emotions that come up when either their sibling upsets them or something happened at school. So by paying attention, then we're able to see that. And it's funny because even telling you, I'm going to adult talk it. But with them, I just make them understand that what is occurring is something that it's okay to express, right, that their needs are important, that their thoughts that may be either negative or positive should be expressed to their parents, and everything is temporary as well. So they don't feel like this is going to be they're not going to be stuck in, let's say, a sad space for a long time, right?

:: 09:52

So I get curious if you had any parents come back to you and go, what's going on with my child? He's talking to me about stuff that they didn't talk about before. Have you had anything like that?

:: 10:05

Yes, definitely. I've had a daughter father situation, and he would tell me, like, she's so vocal. Now she's telling me this, and now I know what's going on. And thank you for helping because especially as a girl, being a woman, we do feel with the opposite sex that maybe we won't be understood. So I allowed for her to have the space. The father was already in this mindfulness understanding, so he was just more appreciating that he's able to understand his daughter in a deeper way.

:: 10:41

Well, that's so great. And so the kids pick it up from a point of view of just like attention, which I think makes a lot of sense. I wish I had somebody tell me, hey, you have this thing called attention and you can actually do something with that as opposed to just pay attention. It seemed like something that was somebody was always trying to get me to attend to something, but I never had the thought that this is something I can actually direct. That's a really valuable skill. So what happens to does this have an impact on them over time or what happens to them in the classroom and in their lives as a result of this work?

:: 11:20

Yeah. So basically for me, it's planting seeds because that would show up later in life, and so I can't have the expectation of an automatic result. This is not TikTok or instagram. That instant gratification. So it's planting these seeds and having the conversations with the parents because at the same token, the child and I are in the same wavelength and vibrating and understanding what's happening. But once we hang up, I need to know that the parent can also follow through. Otherwise it kind of loses momentum. Right. Even though, again, I do plant those seeds, which will come later. But as an everyday, as you know, for everyone that we forget right. We lose sight of what we just learned or the tools, especially the meditation tools that I provide that may escape them when they are overwhelmed with emotion. Right. So I only hope that they do remember the techniques. And that's also why every class I first asked you, we reviewed the prior class. And then at the end of that class, I asked, do you have any questions? I asked them, hey, do you have any questions? Or is there anything that I talked about that you didn't understand that you want to get deeper into? But I will say, more than likely, they hardly ever have questions of not understanding. They'll have questions about themselves, but not about they don't understand. They understand everything. This is why I'm just so taken by them, because I have not had one child like, no, I don't get it. They get it.

:: 12:59

Yeah, I have plenty of adults who have that. I don't get what now? How's this work? I'm not doing this right. It's really funny. So do you teach this in like it sounds like you're going into a classroom of some kind and you're teaching is that your own school or is that somebody else's school? You are appearing in somebody else's curriculum? Or can you help us understand the context that the class is being taught in?

:: 13:28

Sure. So for now, I'm teaching online. So it's an online school, so that way I'm able to teach kids around the country, and not particularly only in Los Angeles where I am, so I'm able to teach kids around the country. And so I also am flexible regarding time difference because we live in different time zones, so I'm always flexible, but it's all online via zoom. And I am hoping that in the future that I'm able to implement this into schools, into public schools, into private as well. Homeschooling is a big one that I'm trying to get into. So if there's anyone out there listening.

:: 14:10

So people find you online and the children show up and you teach them in a classroom online, and that's great. So how are people finding you? What's your motion for getting the word out about what you're doing?

:: 14:23

So that's where I'm in the middle of the process is just either through my podcast, through word of mouth, having these beautiful communities such as yours, Brett, and coming into doing some marketing on Instagram and Facebook, also having the patience because this is something brand new for parents and so just educating the parent. I've actually done even Footwork, where I've printed out flyers and gone to the schools in my community.

:: 14:54

Oh, nice.

:: 14:55

And given out to old school. Old school, I've enjoyed that. Yeah. So just having the patience and just learning marketing because when you start your own business, you're your own everything, it takes some time. And so that's what I've been doing thus far. And this year has been a little difficult, understanding economic inflation and such. So I'm just more practicing patience and not sitting here about where are they, why am I not getting them? It's just more like understanding what the environment is calling to and just keep pushing at it.

:: 15:38

Well, it's such a worthy mission. I'm all about that's. My mission is to help worthy missions. And so I'm really happy you're doing that. What do you think is next? Do you have extensions of this envision? Like, what's your vision for how this grows?

:: 15:53

Yes, definitely. I have visions of how this grows. So for the seven to twelve year olds, I do have continued education because it's an eight week workshop. I did think about shortening it, but it's not enough time because it's only 30 minutes each class, so it's not a lot. So eight weeks in covering the topics that need to be right. And so I also offer extended continued education, which I've done with other students as well, so that way it implements and digs in deeper into their mind. I'm also creating an adult workshop, which will be a four week workshop, and it's called Coming Home to Yourself to also educate not only parents, but just adults in general, of what that means to come home to yourself, right, I see. Using mindfulness, let's talk about what does.

:: 16:48

It mean to come home to yourself?

:: 16:50

Yes, I love it. So mindfulness, as we all know, is using the present moment, right? To be aware of the things that we talked about. Thoughts, right? For me, it's not only the thoughts, because that's the mind, but your heart, your body, because this is your temple. So coming home is this this body, this temple, and coming inside of you, right? Coming towards your heart. Because we're so externalized, right? This world is always about outside what's going on outside of ourselves, and not realizing that the world is a reflection of who we are. And if we don't know who we are, how are we going to become masters of our own reality, right? So it's just more because it is such a beginner course, it's more dabbling into the beginning aspects of what is the mind, right? What is it in charge of, what is the heart? What is it in charge of? What is the body? And then connecting all three, and having this union within yourself and giving the adults the tools, which is the meditations, right? And the journaling, and having that self explorative, that self inquisitiveness that we all kind of lack, because again, we're busy. What App telling me today exactly, right? When the heart alone is telling you, is speaking to you all day, every day. So, as you know, using the breath to just come home to yourself, because the breath is the secret. And I say that on my podcast every time, because it is that is the tool that we were given when we forget. When we forget, just take those three deep breaths for everyone who's a beginner and just listen to what your body's asking. Listen to what your mind is maybe running into or where your heart is trying to tell you. So it's just the breath is the communication and the tool to tap into.

:: 18:45

Yourself, to body, heart, mind, right. Connecting all of that up. And you also mentioned temples. So to me, there's a connection there to like sacred space of some kind. Is that alive for you, a term like that?

:: 19:02

Yes, it's definitely alive for me. That's why I love Mindfulness. Because what people are in realizing that the mind is the tool, it isn't the master. The master is the heart, and the heart is the connection to your soul, right? So that's why that temple, that sacred space within you where you're asking, no matter what your religious background is, I'm sure every biblical text out there, it talks about in some form or way about coming into the heart and God, Allah, or whomever it is that you resonate with is speaking to you through there. Because that's the actual truth. That it is that inner knowing that is given to you. We all know what to do. We just are so used to asking our best friend, asking, our partner asking, and never tapping in with ourselves and trusting the intuition of the heart.

:: 20:02

Yeah, I agree with that. And the work that I do, which is a lot of somatic work, mindful, somatic work. There's this notion of the body knows, the body knows the truth. We might all disagree about what the truth is, but the body doesn't argue around it. The truth is you're stressed, right? The truth is you're relaxed or whatever it is that's going on for you. And so it's kind of like connecting with that as a part of your in the moment experience and then letting that be a part of who you are. Another way I like to talk about this is sort of like this innate knowledge about how to heal. An example would be like a plant that turns towards the sun. It just has within it the capacity to know, oh, here's the sun. And it doesn't think about, well, maybe if I turn this way or none of that's going on, obviously, because it's a plant. But it's built into the framework of the structure of the organism, the ability to take care of itself, to dynamically and automatically turn towards what's helpful, and that our bodies are that way.

:: 21:18

Absolutely.

:: 21:20

Like you say, connect with and then the language is like and give voice to the heart, mind, body experience. Because I think that's what we're missing so much of is the capacity to once we have done the work of kind of breathing, connecting with what's really true for us or with our in the moment experience, then learning to speak and act from that place is what I wish for myself and for others in the world. So then we can act in power. And you're doing that so beautifully in your work.

:: 21:59

I'm excited and I appreciate you bringing it into that space because it's exactly what it is, right? How many of us have been soberly stressed that you get sick or you have a heart attack or however it shows up because the body is speaking for you, because you're not paying attention to what the stress is it's there. But we want to fill the day with everything we could possibly do when we sometimes can't. And giving yourself the self compassion that it's okay that you can't, because we're not robots, we're not machines. We're just made to flow it each day and as it comes. And that's why tapping into yourself is so important, because let's say you do wake up in a bad mood. So that way you're aware that to give yourself grace that day and know that it's not going to be perfect. And if it falters, it falters and just, again, not creating shame monsters on yourself and more giving yourself grace, that it's okay, that today I'm not going to be at my best self, and that's okay.

:: 23:02

Yeah, I totally appreciate what you said there in terms of the connection, so that you don't drive yourself into a breakdown. And there's so little support for that kind of awareness in the culture. And you look everywhere, and it's about extreme performance. It's about extreme drive through all obstacles and getting up in the middle of the night to answer the emails and doing what you have to do to be successful. That's how you become successful. That's how you make a name for yourself. And only the people who are willing to go to the furthest edges of human capacity have deserve the success that comes their way. It's crazy making because the amount of effort that goes into it is extreme. And these days, it's almost like when you're an adolescent and you look forward to your life and you can imagine, yeah, I'm going to be the rock star. Yeah, I'm going to be the Hollywood star. And at some point or another, that may happen for some people, but for most people, those dreams don't actually realize in the same sort of way, because not everyone can win the Super Bowl. Not everyone can win an Oscar or be the superstar. And it's not necessarily related to how hard you work as much as it is the opportunities that you have. Plus combined with how hard you work and just raw luck, and you are born to a famous person. So that's an or not, as the case may be. And so all of that comes into play in terms of the culture doesn't really support us in noticing. I'm completely stressed out. What am I doing? Trying to take care of kids or trying to take on a new work? Because I really need to just relax. And that way we become actually a lot more effective.

:: 25:01

Right.

:: 25:02

Take those three breaths and be more effective.

:: 25:04

Right? Because filling your cup is so much more important than filling others. Right? Because it's the same put your oxygen mask first. Right. If that was the situation.

:: 25:14

Right, exactly.

:: 25:15

If you go to help someone, you can't you're going to die. You have to help yourself, and then you can so it's the same idea of filling your cup before you go. Fill your children's, your partners, your work. If you don't do that, then the body is going to show you, well, hey, we're going to collapse right now, or we're going to just and that is the tune, right? And it's beautiful how it's so set up, how it's able to do so. And another thing that you touched upon, like how we run ourselves to the ground, this is the opportunity for you to redefine what is success to you. Redefine what all these things that society has implemented into our programming, but really think about it in the way you view it, right? What does success look like at work? What does success look like, in my family, for myself and sit there with your goals and not fantasize about getting the Oscar. Let's just stick with that. Right. What if it's you wanting to just do theater and not really get into that space? It's something you truly love, or even teaching theater to children? I don't know, but it's just the example. Like, don't think that the ultimate goal is the same for everybody, because it isn't.

:: 26:33

Yeah, exactly. So it's sort of like if you look around the culture, it's more like success is defined by the things that you have or the way people think about you. And it's not that way at all. There are many, many examples of very successful and quotes people who are deeply unhappy. It doesn't translate that material wealth and possessions and status means that you're actually successful as a human being in terms of, yeah, my life is worth living. You have all the things of the world and still be very, very miserable person.

:: 27:15

Yeah, absolutely. Because what's happening is that the wealth is this you. You are the wealth, not the external wealth that should be the result of you doing the work for yourself.

:: 27:26

Yes. In an interpersonal way. It's like we are the work. My relationship with life, it's relational. I tend to be very relational in my mindful work. It's like it's about my relationship to beauty, my relationship to peace, my relationship to justice. And so letting all that be. I have a podcast I do called The Mindful Coach Association, and I ask, what are you connected to? Right. So it's like connecting to those things and then speaking and acting from that place and, oh, my gosh, what a world we could create. And we would wind up with more people like Claudia out there teaching children how to be mindful in their work and just lighting up around it. It's, like, very exciting to me because.

:: 28:17

You realize that giving is the gift, and it's not only giving outside giving to yourself, so that way you can give. And then when your cup is overflowing, right now, you're able to pour other cups, and everyone's just externally grateful. Because now, not only did I fill your cup, but now I taught you how to fill your cup. So you don't always come to me to fill your cup.

:: 28:43

That's exactly right. Because even if you're always doing that, you're still outwardly focused. And so it's like having the resilience to realize that your resources are all inside.

:: 28:53

Right.

:: 28:53

And if you can't connect to those resources, if you can't let that your own inner experience be a source of nourishment and grounding and centering for you, then you're dependent on your world to provide that for you. Sometimes I talk about this in terms of orbits, the notion of orbiting around other people or orbiting around an idea and people, when you don't have your own center of gravity, you will orbit around some idea or some other person or some job or some relationship or a belief system that's outside of you. And that way that gives you a sense of center, a way you could organize your world in terms of thinking about things. But whenever you realize that that's just a proxy for not having this and you connect to your own experience of yourself in the moment, you don't need those external connections like that anymore.

:: 29:55

No, because you're validating yourself, right? We're not taught this. This is why we come in and we become the way showers of letting you know that you are enough and you are loved and you are valued and seen and heard because you're just as important as the next person. But we're so busy, right, with the external aspects of life and even the people that say, oh, I don't have time. If you don't have time for yourself, what are you telling the universe?

:: 30:24

Yeah, exactly, right. If you don't have time for yourself, then why should anybody else have time for you? It's that kind of a thing that always gets down to I don't have time because I need to be more productive, I need to get more done, I need to check more things off my list. And to be fair, there's a lot of need. There is a lot of need to get things done. Because we have an overly complicated, complex world. But doing that to the extent where we just give ourselves away and we don't have anything left until we collapse, that isn't going to work. And so not only do we have to change our lives, but the organizations we work and have to change as well, right?

:: 31:07

And how we schedule our day or how the day is scheduled out for us, depending on where you are, 5 minutes of your day for you is a lot that already starts a good place. Just 5 minutes. However you want to show up for yourself, it doesn't matter. You choose, right? It's a relationship with you. How do you want to show up for yourself? The 5 minutes that you've made in the day for you, you decide. And if you do that every day, you'll start to see that it'll start to grow into 1030 minutes to a day, a month, where you're just like with your family, this day is for me, I'm going to go to the spa or I'm going to go on a day trip or whatever it may be, right? Because the self love will start to grow. It's just osmosis. It's just what happens because you start building the relationship. Not only that, but your body is going to be surprised. Like, you start talking to your body's like, oh, wait, they're talking to us. They're talking to us. They're listening to us. The mind is like, oh, we are being paid attention to. And then the heart is able to come through. Once we're able to start to. Make the relationship with ourselves.

:: 32:19

Nice. So if you're to our audience, we often have a lot of coaches listen. So if the coaches are listening and they're interested in trying to help children, what tips would you have for them in terms of how to approach that? How would they even get started with that?

:: 32:38

Yeah, definitely. First thing, take yourself out of the situation. It's not about you. It's about the child in front of you. Also, very importantly, when you work with children, if that's something that you're inspired to do, make sure that you are doing the healing work. Because if you're coming from a place that isn't in alignment with yourself, they're going to see that. Children, they're going to see it, and they're going to call you out. And then now they're in charge. Right, I see. So you have to be grounded. You have to be fully present, and then you create a safe space so they can feel safe. Because safety is so important for children. If they don't feel safe, they're not going to open up because they don't trust you. Right. So that is so important. You have to build that safety for them. Once you do, once they feel safe, everything that they share with you is for the moment and leave it where it is. Don't think about it later. Don't gossip about it, because that's also not in alignment. Right. So you want to be as pure as they are, as you could possibly be. That's how you're able to really hear them. And they're going to feel all of this because even through this on the camera, Brett, I'll be honest. For me, I go into a very deep place. This is a spiritual technology. This body is spiritual technology, and then this is physical technology. So I implement this energy into the camera. So that way, even though I'm not physically there, you're going to feel me there.

:: 34:18

I see. So you're creating the space, so take yourself out. Right. Do your own work. Be sure that you're doing your own work. Create safety and leave the work in the moment. And watch out and do your best to create a container, let's call it, to hold the teaching and the connection together. Well, that's a master class right there, right?

:: 34:50

Exactly. No, absolutely. This is why I'm like, you know, I need to start having workshops for the adults because it's also I needed as much as I did want to early on, but when I fell into the children, I fell in love. But now I'm seeing that I'm being called back into it. I'm also going to create a workshop for teenagers. This is something important where we're not really practicing or having any traditional rituals. When a child is no longer a child and now a teenager. Right. There needs to be a grieving process to allow the teenager to release that child that they were to become the teenager.

:: 35:28

I love that so much. Wow. I guess that went deep in me because I'm going, Whoa.

:: 35:35

It's a big deal.

:: 35:36

It is a big deal. I'm an old man these days, but it's like, I see so much how should I say, lack of respect for honoring these transitions in life.

:: 35:47

Yes. Teenagers to adult. Right. That's another one. Because I will help them become better teenagers and help them become better adults. Right. So it's having the respect for these different aspects of our lives.

:: 36:01

Well, that's so beautiful. I just want to say thank you on behalf of the universe for the work that you're doing. Sometimes I take on the role of the voice of the universe. Thank you for the work that you're doing, and may great grace fall in your life in unexpected and abundant ways. So tell everybody again how they can find you and engage you.

:: 36:24

Yes, definitely. First, I receive that. Thank you. I appreciate that so very much. And you can find me. So the Children's The Mindful Coach Association is ourmindfulkids.com and I have that as an instagram as well. And then my podcast, where it's the main. So even if you just go to Presently Aki, you'll find my school, you'll find everything, and then the workshop should be released for the adults next month.

:: 36:49

Great.

:: 36:49

So I'm excited. So presently aki just for everyone. Again, it's Presently, and Aki is aqui and I'm available on all platforms under Presently Aki.

:: 37:01

And we'll have all of that detail in the show notes as well. You can also find Claudia at the mindfulcoachassociation.com. You can look her up there and connect with her around her work. And I would strongly encourage you to do that so that you can be as blessed as everyone else who is who meets her. And so thank you so much for being a guest on the Mindful Coach podcast. I greatly appreciate it.

:: 37:26

No, Brett, I'm ever so thankful for you for finding me on LinkedIn and having this beautiful community that you've created that I love going to every week now, every two weeks, whenever I am full of joy to be a part of that. So thank you so, so much for creating a safe space for us.

:: 37:44

It's my privilege. We'll talk soon.

:: 37:46

Yes, definitely.